By Russell D. Longcore
(Editor’s Note: To see this article in an animated movie, go to: Flash Editorial Video)
The Nation: OK Herman Cain. Remember Bill Clinton’s “bimbo eruptions?” You’re catching up. Now the list is up to five, and a couple of these women got monetary settlements from your naughty antics. It’s pretty tough to get the nation to believe that you’re entirely innocent when more and more women are willing to step up and burn you. That’s the entertaining thing about you sociopathic personalities. You guys actually convince yourselves that you haven’t done anything wrong. All someone has to do is prove that you were with Ms. Bialik at that hotel that night and you’re toast. And eventually, the dames that got the settlements are going to tell their story, confidentiality agreement or not. There’s plenty of media outlets that will pay these chicks all they need to defend themselves in court. Cain is a goner in this race. Go back to talk radio, Herman.
The Nation II I am not happy about this, but here’s my prediction about the Republican race – unless someone catches Mitt Romney in bed with a live boy, a dead girl or a goat – he will outlast all the others and be the Republican candidate in 2012. Actually, I could not care less about who wins.
The Nation III The voters of Mississippi went to the polls Tuesday night and voted down Amendment 26, a citizens initiative to amend the Mississippi Constitution to define “personhood” as beginning at fertilization or “the functional equivalent thereof.” Its purpose was to protect all life, regardless of age, health, function, physical or mental dependency, or method of reproduction. If it had passed, it would have made Unalienable Rights and Inalienable Rights one and the same things…the right to life. I doubt if the right to life will truly ever be protected again in America.
International: Didn’t I tell you that the merda was hitting the ventilatore in Italy and Greece? Old governments out, new governments in. The banksters are installing one of their own as the new Greek Prime Minister. Former ECB VP Lucas Papademos gets the nod. This is the very guy who cooked the Greek books to get Greece INTO the EC. And it looks like Italy will install Mario Monti, a Yale grad (Keynesian) as their new head guy. Keep doing the same ol’ shyt that got you into this mess, fellas.
International II: Heard a piece on National Public Radio Tuesday that said Greece and Italy were going to get bailed out. Both nations have to agree to austerity budgets (whatever the hell that means), the banks that own their present debt have to take a 50% writedown (bankruptcy without the nasty name) and then the nations will get MORE LOANS. How about austerity without any more borrowing? How stupid is this? These banking morons run the world. John Perkins (Economic Hitman)…call your office. What the EU should do is kick Italy and Greece out of the club.
Business: EMI Group Ltd., the music giant, is being split up and sold for $4.1 billion. Universal Music Group will buy the recording division, while Sony/ATV will buy the publishing division. I guess there’s money to still be made in the music business, despite all the hand-wringing done about copyright infringement and pirate music downloads.
Economy: WOW. The number of new unemployment claims this week was only 390,000, down about 10,000 from last week. Keep in mind that hundreds, maybe thousands of companies lay off people in the fourth quarter to boost year-end earnings. Happens every year. Watch the news. When you see news stories about it, you’ll think of Flash Editorials.
Religion: Nothing interesting happened in the realm of religion this week. It was only the usual Catholic priests molesting children, Islamists murdering Christians, Hindus murdering Muslims, and Christian American military personnel murdering Afghanis and Pakistanis while their families at home wave the flag proudly and call the soldiers “heroes.” And then the soldiers come home to America and commit suicide in the largest numbers in history. Perhaps the Prince of Peace has been misunderstood.
Sports: In overtime, LSU beat Alabama 9-6 with a field goal. #1 beat #2 in a very exciting game. Both teams’ defenses were stellar, neither allowing the other to score a touchdown. And LSU went to Tuscaloosa and hung this loss around Nick Saban’s neck. Classic payback. LSU remains undefeated. Geaux Tigers!!
Sports II: Penn State University’s fabled football program gets a moral death penalty. Defensive Coach Jerry Sandusky spent years molesting boys and was caught multiple times, even AT the Penn State locker room, even five years AFTER he had retired from the program. Coaching legend Joe Paterno was told about Sandusky’s sexual abuse of young boys, and fulfilled his legal obligation by reporting what he knew to the Athletic Director. But will we ever know if “Joe Pa” ever challenged Sandusky face to face? How could Paterno allow this pedophile to remain on his staff, or even to have access to the football facility after he retired? A locker room full of muscular naked teenaged boys must have been like being in a candy shop for Sandusky. Is football more important than raping children? Apparently it was. “Success with honor,” my ass. At least the Board of Regents had enough of a survival instinct to fire Paterno and the college president Wednesday night. The empty-headed college students must be pro-rape, as they rioted after Joe Pa’s termination was announced.
Sports III Former Heavyweight Boxing Champion “Smokin” Joe Frazier died this week. He wasn’t pretty on the outside like Muhammed Ali, but most reports say that Frazier was a fine gentleman.
Entertainment: At the Country Music Association Awards show, cute-as-a-button Taylor Swift won Entertainer of the Year for the second time. Blake Shelton and wife Miranda Lambert won Male and Female Vocalist of the year. Sugarland won Vocal Duo of the Year. Country music is sure entertaining, but it ain’t country. Today’s country music is where rock and roll went after pop music was invented. If you have a hankerin’ for great country music, check out Radio Free Texas, a streaming audio website with only Texas music playing 24/7.
DumpDC. Six Letters That Can Change History.
© Copyright 2011, Russell D. Longcore. Permission to reprint in whole or in part is gladly granted, provided full credit is given.