Flash Editorials September 10, 2011

By Russell D. Longcore

International: Nothing happened worth talking about this week around the world.

The Nation: F&W Flashmob loots guitar company. Washington’s armed Fish & Wildlife agents stormed the Gibson Guitar Company and confiscated over $1 million in Madagascar ebony wood and guitars, claiming the wood was an “endangered species.” Democrat-supporter CF Martin, Gibson’s direct competitor, uses the exact same wood but suffers no raids or confiscations. The Obama Administration protects us from the ravages of pretty fretwork. Thank you, Barry.

The Nation II: The US Postal Service is so far in debt that it’s actually talking about shuttering post offices now and shutting down altogether next summer. The USPS is $9.2 Billion in arrears, and cannot pay its $5.5 Billion of future pension and health obligations. It’s probably too big to fail, don’t you think? There’s no way that DC will privatize the Post Office, so you should expect Monday-Wednesday-Friday delivery and higher prices. Another government buggy whip business is subsidized to death.

The Nation III: Mr. Obama announces that he wants to make an important speech about jobs in front of Congress on Wednesday, 9-7. Speaker Boner tells him ‘No,’ and Mr. Obama moves the speech to Thursday night, 8 pm. But it’s the opening game of the NFL season on TV at 8pm. So, Obama takes 7 pm, which is only 4 pm on the left coast…so as not to interfere with the NFL. This should give you some sense of the level of importance of the Obama speech, and the irrelevance of this President. What would Jack Kennedy have done?

The Nation IV: Picture this: Hillary Clinton resigns as Secretary of State and immediately announces that she will challenge Mr. Obama for the Democratic nomination for 2012. After all, she ain’t getting any younger. She would club Barry like a baby seal in the primaries and split the Democratic Party right down the middle. He would end his single term as President completely humiliated. But I still think the Republican candidate for President would win in a landslide. So in a fit of massive egomania, Hillary flames out and Barry slinks off to Chicago, both never to be heard from again. Fantasies like this are too good not to dream about.

Economy: The weekly unemployment figures show 414,000 new jobless claims, a couple thousand higher than last week. NEW claims. Anybody that tells you the USA is in any sort of recovery is a bald-faced liar.

Business: BP, the British oil giant, announced that it has drilled a new well in the Gulf of Mexico, finding a giant new oil field in 4,100 feet of water. Here we go again.

Sports: The South Eastern Conference (SEC) announced that it has extended an invitation to Texas A&M to join the SEC for sports participation. The Big 12 Conference will probably OK the move and the SEC will get even better. After all, the nation’s best football conference has always been the SEC. More NFL players come from the SEC than from any other college conference.

Entertainment: The TV show “Dancing with the Stars” announced that transgender celebrity Chastity “Chaz” Bono will dance in the next season as a guy. I think this qualifies as jumping the shark. No cracks about the “bearded lady” will be tolerated.

DumpDC. Six Letters That Can Change History.

© Copyright 2011, Russell D. Longcore. Permission to reprint in whole or in part is gladly granted, provided full credit is given.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: