Guys…Learn To Dance

by Russell D. Longcore

This is a public service article, written to enhance the lives of males the world over. I can’t speak for the males outside the USA. But my logic is flawless, no matter what culture you may live in.

Don’t you remember junior high and high school dances? The girls stood on one side of the room, and the boys stood on the other side. The DJ spun the old 45s and some of the girls would dance together. About the only time that boy met girl is when the DJ played a slow song. Then a few couples would dance together. It was awkward and no boy wanted to ask a girl who he wasn’t dating to dance for fear of rejection. And God help you if you were going steady and danced with anyone but your best gal.

We haven’t really made all that much progress, have we gentlemen? Been to a wedding reception lately? Most guys don’t know how to dance and don’t want to learn. For some reason, we guys buy into the mistaken notion that dancing makes us look less macho. That would presume that we already look macho, which is a ridiculous presumption for most males.

Fellas, wouldn’t you like to be more happy? Wouldn’t you like more attention from females? Wouldn’t you like your lady to be proud of you and brag on you to her friends? Follow me as I lead you to some obvious conclusions.

1. Girls LOVE to dance. Girls learn early on that dancing is romantic and chicks love romance. If they cannot find guys to dance with, they will dance with each other. You’ll see this anywhere there is music playing and a dance floor. The chicks will dance together and most guys will stay seated.
2. Males LOVE to touch females. Males love to be in close proximity to females, smell their perfume, brush up against them.
3. Most of the time, women will not allow males to have much physical contact or get close to them in social settings. It’s just good sense and self-protection.
4. However, girls drop their guard somewhat when there is dancing involved. Guys can actually come within very close proximity to a female when they dance together. Depending on the particular dance they are doing, a guy could touch a woman’s hands, her arms, her waist, her back…and get the whole frontal treatment when dancing a slow dance. And this could happen on the first night you meet a lady. If you tried to do all that touching without dancing, she’d probably be totally creeped out and call the cops on you.
5. The more dances you learn, the more ways you can get physical contact with women. It’s just a numbers game, guys. If your pistol has one cartridge, you only have one shot. If your pistol carries multiple rounds, you get multiple shots. The more skills you have, the more you can use them.
6. Even knowing all this, most men will not learn to dance. If you learn to dance, you will have a social skill that most men do not have and don’t want. If you learn to dance, your social life will drastically improve.

Here’s what women think of men who know how to dance:

1. They know that the guy likes to have fun.
2. They know that the guy knows how to have fun with women.
3. They know that the guy thought having fun with women was important enough to learn how to do it.
4. They know that the guy is not so hung up on his “image” that he’ll take the chance of looking silly or actually being a little silly.
5. They know that the guy might be more romantic than most other guys.

So, don’t know how to dance? Some tips:

1. Go to a dance class. Spend some money and learn. If you are single, dance classes are a great way to meet women. And once you have the skills, you’ll find it much easier to meet women. If you are married, or if you are dating, make it a couple’s event. Learn together. Your lady will LOVE it. And once you’ve learned, you have automatic dance dates that your lady will LOVE. I promise you that she will tell ALL her friends that her man is taking her dancing. Jealousy is a trump card for a woman. Put the card in her hand.
2. Learn different kinds of dances, so no matter what the social occasion, you can be the guy that most of the other guys can’t compete with.
3. The ability to dance with women will overcome many other male flaws. You don’t have to be the most handsome guy in the hall. The ability to dance and a wide smile will make you very attractive.
4. Ever notice how many hot women are paired with average-looking guys? Perhaps those men know how to dance. If you are average-looking and know how to dance, go ask the prettiest woman in the place for a dance. Your odds are much, much better when you know how to dance.
5. Got no money? At the next dance, pick out a woman who knows how to dance (a single one would be best) and say, “I don’t know how to dance, but I see that you do. Would you have this one dance with me and teach me?” You’ll be AMAZED how well this works.

In Texas, men learn how to dance early. They do the Texas Two-step, the Cotton-Eyed Joe, the Waltz, the Swing step, Polka and Ballroom. In dance halls all across Texas, you’ll see manly men in pressed blue jeans, a Western shirt, cowboy boots and a cowboy hat moving their dates across the dance floor. Nobody tells a Texan he ain’t manly when he dances.

So fellas…get off your lazy arses and learn to dance. There’s no perceivable downside to dancing. It’s ALL upside benefit. You’ll have a happier life. And happier men think more clearly. When it comes time to make a decision about secession, you’ll be able to throw in with all us guys that know how to dance.

© Copyright 2011, Russell D. Longcore. Permission to reprint in whole or in part is gladly granted, provided full credit is given.

One Response to Guys…Learn To Dance

  1. Paul B says:

    In retrospect, not learning to dance was one of the worst decisions I ever made in my life. I’m too old now, but if I could do it again, I’d definitely be a dancer. So little effort, so much payoff!

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