By Russell D. Longcore
Ganesh Kuthrapali: “This is Visa Credit Card Customer Service. My name is Ganesh Kuthrapali. How may I help you?”
Russell Longcore: “This is Russ Longcore. I have a Visa card and I’d like to have my credit limit increased.”
G: “Sure, Mr. Longcore, we can consider that for you. What’s that account number?”
G: “Great, Sir. I have your account in front of me.”
R: “I need to have my credit limit increased right away. I’m staring some bills in the face and I need a way to pay them.”
G: I’ll need to ask you some questions about your situation. And I’ll need to look at your account balance and account activity.”
R: “Go ahead. By the way, your English is pretty good.”
G. “Thank you, Sir. Is your income the same this year as it was last year?”
R: “No, my income has dropped this year. Tough economy, you know.”
G: “Yes, Sir. How much did it drop off?”
R: “About 25 percent.”
G: “Sorry to hear that, Mr. Longcore. But I see in your account that you’ve been only paying your minimum monthly amount. Your balance is at the maximum credit limit already. At this rate you’ll only pay interest forever and never pay down the principal.”
R: “Yes, but I haven’t missed any payments.”
G: “But now you tell me your income has dropped. How will you make your monthly payments now?”
R: “See…that’s one of the reasons I need this credit limit to be increased. I don’t want to fall behind.”
G: “So you’re planning on using the new credit amount to make payments that you can’t afford with your present income…which has dropped this year.”
R: “Exactly. Now you’re catching on.”
G: “How much of an increase are you requesting, Sir?”
R: “About 40%, since my income is only 60% of what my budget is. For every dollar I take in, I spend $1.65.”
G: “I see in your account history that your credit limit has been raised every year for the past ten years. And every year for the past ten years, you’ve maxed out your credit limit. Also, your credit score has also gone down over the last year. Seems some of your other creditors are pretty nervous. And NOW you want MORE credit?”
R: “Certainly, Ganesh. Wouldn’t you do the same thing?”
G: “Well, now that you asked…I might consider either increasing my income or cutting my expenses. Either of those choices work for you?”
R: “Neither, Ganesh. The people that pay me money already think my prices are way too high. And I can’t cut expenses…there are too many creditors who rely on my payments. If I cut back, some of them might lose their jobs. And I also have to pay a bunch of money for security. So, don’t you see? I HAVE to have that credit limit increase.”
G: “Mr. Longcore, what’s that expense for security about?”
R: “I have a bunch of neighbors that can’t seem to run their affairs the way I think they should. So I have to go to their place and show them how it’s supposed to be done. Sometimes a fight breaks out, and I have to hire other people to stay there and keep the peace. Then more fights break out, and I have to handle them, too.”
G: “But your security costs make up nearly half your budget. Are you up for a suggestion?”
R: “Sure, Ganesh. Go ahead.”
G: “If your relations with your neighbors means you get in fights, perhaps you might change the way you deal with your neighbors. Then you wouldn’t need all that security.”
R: “Nice try, Ganesh…and don’t think I haven’t thought of that. But I know best. They just need to get with the program. It’s tough being a leader.”
G: “OK, Mr. Longcore. But it sounds like your neighbors don’t really want to be led.”
R: “Like I said…I know best. By the way, Ganesh, I’m working on a spending plan that will cut some of my expenses.”
G: “When will that take effect?”
R: “In 2024.”
G: “So let me just summarize your request. Your credit limit is already maxed out. Your income has dropped by 25% this year. You can’t see a way to increase your income or cut expenses. You won’t be able to keep making your minimum interest payments unless we here at Visa Cards give you a new, higher credit limit. And you plan to make the interest payments using your new credit limit, even knowing that the minimum payments will be higher. And if your credit score drops any further, we will have to charge you a higher interest rate, which you could not afford to pay.”
R: “That’s the plan, Ganesh. It’s been working fine for the last ten years. Shall we make it eleven?”
G: “Sounds great, Mr. Longcore. We’ll have that new higher credit limit ready for you on August 2nd.” Is there anything else I can do for you today?”
R: “No, Ganesh. You’ve been very understanding. Thanks for all your help. Have a nice day there in Bangalore. Goodbye.”
G: “Goodbye, Mr. Longcore.”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
In the real world…the world in which common people live…this conversation would end with a much different outcome. But in the bizzaro, upside down, fantasy world of Washington, DC, this convoluted way of thinking will certainly be rewarded with a new debt limit.
You hired these people, America. You gets what you pays for.
It’s yet another good reason that secession is looking more and more intelligent, and everybody else looks dumb and dumber.
Secession…and common sense…are the Hope for Mankind.
DumpDC. Six Letters That Can Change History.
© Copyright 2011, Russell D. Longcore. Permission to reprint in whole or in part is gladly granted, provided full credit is given.