Meet America’s 51st (Broke) State

July 13, 2011

by Tyler Durden

(Editor’s Note: This would actually be a story with some legs if the Southern Californians wanted to secede and actually become a new nation, separate from the USA. But mostly it’s just an amusement piece.)

It is only fitting that a few days after South Sudan became the newest independent country to join the roster of IMF and World Bank “modernization and industrialization” targets, another Southern version of something should break apart, although some may be surprised that this latest secession is not somewhere in the middle of Africa, but in America’s own insolvent back yard. Meet Southern California. “Accusing Sacramento of pillaging local governments to feed its runaway spending and left-wing policies, a Riverside County politician is proposing a solution: He wants 13 mostly inland, conservative counties to break away to form a separate state of “South California.” Supervisor Jeff Stone, a Republican pharmacist from Temecula, called California an “ungovernable” financial catastrophe from which businesses are fleeing and where taxpayers are being crushed by the burden of caring for welfare recipients and illegal immigrants.” Ah yes, the heart of prosperity that is the Inland Empire, known for such great achievements as Hell’s Angels, the most ridiculous excesses of the housing bubble, Del Taco, and… that’s pretty much it. This sounds like yet another Swiss Watch plan.

This is what the 51st state would look like:

South California

This will make a great diversion for the country over the next week while the world burns. Unless, of course, Osama is killed for third or fourth time.

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