One Sentence Editorials

July 9, 2011

Covering the news of the week

By Russell D. Longcore

Casey Anthony: Kids all over America will now run when they see Mom reach for the duct tape.

Raising the Debt Ceiling: Expecting spending addicts to quit cold turkey ain’t happenin’.

Texas and the TSA: Your actions show who you are loyal to, and I just hope that the Federal collars Dewhurst and Straus wear don’t pinch too much.

UN Troops in South Sudan: American soldiers will certainly be in the mix.

South Sudan II: It’s about the OIL, stupid.

South Sudan III: Secession is OK everywhere in the world except the USA.

Libya: Washington is back to assassinating its enemies as foreign policy.

Weekly Jobs Report: Is entirely made up by Labor Department, and it still sucks.

Will and Kate in Canada: Rolling fashion show prepping the world for the next King.

Atlantis’ final launch: Kids can’t grow up to be an astronauts anymore, but President is still open for your young sociopath.

Usama bin Laden: Now what does DC do to justify staying in Iraq and Afghanistan?

Afghan War: Pakistanis are not amused by death from above.

US/China relations: DC is the addict, China is the dealer, and soon the dealer will stop dealing…and withdrawal is a bitch.

“Arab Spring:” Ain’t about democracy…it’s about getting rid of American puppet dictators.

Middle East: Israel runs an open-air concentration camp and calls it Palestine.

The Stock Market: Gains are simply reflections of increased inflation.

Greece: Riots and demonstrations by citizens who demand continued bread and circuses.

European Union: Destined to dissolve, could start the world economic collapse.

Sports: Baseball’s All-Star game is a circle jerk in the shape of a diamond.

Sports II: The NFL lockout…pampered millionaires arguing with billionaires while the fans take it in the shorts.

Sports III: The NBA lockout…see Sports II.

Entertainment: “Cars 2” stops being amusing, starts preaching about evil corporations.

DumpDC. Six Letters That Can Change History.

© Copyright 2011, Russell D. Longcore. Permission to reprint in whole or in part is gladly granted, provided full credit is given.