BREAKING NEWS: Texas Legislature Votes To Secede From The USA

by Russell D. Longcore

APRIL 1, 2011, AUSTIN, TEXAS – In a hastily-organized midnight press conference, Texas Governor Rick Perry announced that late last night, March 31, 2011, the Texas Legislature passed an Ordinance of Secession that Perry signed into law just moments after it was passed.

The bill, HB3831, sponsored by Rep. Leo Berman (Tyler), had 140 co-sponsors of the 150 House representatives. The bill was hand carried to the House Select Committee on State Sovereignty where it passed unanimously. It was rushed to the floor of the Legislature, where House Speaker Joe Strauss, at the request of the Governor, invoked a parliamentary rule to allow the bill to be debated. Debate was nearly non-existent, and 13 minutes later, HB3831 passed by a vote of 141 to 7, with two abstaining.

Speaker Strauss and Lieutenant Governor David Dewhurst carried the bill to the Senate Floor, where it was introduced by Dewhurst, who also presides as the President of the Senate. Debate was suspended and the bill passed unanimously 31-0. Dewhurst brought the bill to Governor Perry, who signed it into law just a few minutes before 11:00 pm.

The following is a transcript of Governor Perry’s statement:

“The Federal Government of the United States of America has ceased to protect the unalienable rights of the People in whom all political power rests. Washington instead has aggregated to itself powers not expressly granted under the US Constitution. The Federal Government spends tax dollars in countless ways not authorized by the US Constitution. Washington has erected a multitude of unconstitutional offices, and has sent forth swarms of Officers to harass our People and eat out their substance. Washington has allowed a private bank, the Federal Reserve, to regulate the money supply in the United States, to counterfeit the money supply and cause inflation, thereby failing to protect our property rights. The Congress and successive Presidents have embroiled the United States in unconstitutional wars abroad. The Congress of the United States has borrowed trillions of dollars that can never be repaid. A long train of abuses and usurpations, evincing a design to reduce The People under absolute despotism has occurred and continues to this very day.

The People of the sovereign and free State of Texas must now exercise their right and duty to throw off such Government, and to provide new guards for their future security.

We therefore, the representatives of the People of the sovereign and free State of Texas, do, and in the name, and by Authority of the good People of Texas, solemnly Publish and Declare that the sovereign and free State of Texas is absolved from all Allegiance to the United States of America, and that all political and legal connection to the United States of America is, and ought to be, totally dissolved; and that as a Sovereign and Free nation, The Republic of Texas has full power to levy war, conclude peace, contract Alliances and establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and things that sovereign nations may of right do.”

When Governor Perry ended his statement, he left the podium without answering any questions from the press in attendance.

Copies of the historic Ordinance of Secession were distributed to the press in attendance. Here is the exact wording of the Texas Ordinance of Secession.

“AN ORDINANCE to dissolve the union between the sovereign and free State of Texas and other States united with her under the compact entitled “The Constitution of the United States of America.”

We, the people of the sovereign and free State of Texas, in legislative session assembled do declare and ordain, and it is hereby declared and ordained, that the annexation by the United States of America of the sovereign and free Republic of Texas, completed on the twenty-ninth day of December, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred forty five, is hereby dissolved; and also all acts and parts of acts of the General Assembly of this State ratifying amendments of the Constitution of the United States, or acts or parts of acts that bind this state in any law or treaty to the United States of America, are hereby repealed; and that the union now subsisting between Texas and other States, under the name of the “United States of America,” is hereby dissolved.

We hereby recall our US Senators and US Congressional representatives, and order their return to Texas.

Enacted and signed into law at Austin, Texas on the thirty-first day of March, in the year of our Lord two thousand eleven.”

The Ordinance of Secession will be delivered to the President of the United States, the Speaker of the House of Representatives, and the president of the US Senate on April 1, 2011.

*********************************

Happy April Fools’ Day, Dear Readers!! Yes, this is a prank press release.

But won’t it be GREAT one day when a press release like this will be true?

Secession is the only hope for liberty on the North American continent.

DumpDC. Six Letters That Can Change History.

© Copyright 2011, Russell D. Longcore. Permission to reprint in whole or in part is gladly granted, provided full credit is given.

7 Responses to BREAKING NEWS: Texas Legislature Votes To Secede From The USA

  1. Matt says:

    This was great, had me going…I was like, “wow”!

  2. Very funny…
    🙂

    April Fools!

    I can’t wait.

    AP

  3. aikeru says:

    Haha! Had me there for just a moment…🙂

  4. Gary says:

    This was a joke

    Fooled me like 911

  5. ANIMALAURA says:

    WISH THIS WERE TRUE INSTEAD OF A JOKE.

  6. wesd will says:

    IF this were true, we could go back to slavery, open beer, no gun permits, but what about schools. Oh yea there would be none cause that money comes from federal funded programs.and unless you want Higher Taxes to pay for them. but wait isnt that why we wanna leave

    • dumpdc says:

      Mr. Will- I approved this comment to show how ridiculous some comments are. But the rest of my readers need an occasional belly laugh. Thanks for that. Russ

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