Dear 19 Other Nations of the G-20:
We just want to take this opportunity to apologize to you for the dumb stuff our President Barack Obama said at the Toronto G-20 meeting.
Surely someone running his ever-present teleprompter ran the gag reel…the one that was supposed to be used at http://www.theOnion.com, the nation’s best online political satire website.
According to various newspapers here at home, we are told that you folks agreed to a goal to cut your budget deficits in half within three years. That goal will require slashing public spending beyond what is politically acceptable in any of your countries, including our own. You already are experiencing public strikes, riots and street demonstrations…and you’ve hardly done anything at all sofar.
That’s a pretty lofty goal, since many of you are teetering at the edge of insolvency at this very moment. That includes the United States government. We Americans wonder if you’ll even exist in three years.
But our President said, “To sustain recovery, we need to follow through on delivering existing stimulus plans, while working to create the conditions for robust private demand.”
We are so sorry.
We Americans know that stealing money through taxation, or simply printing up counterfeit money and flooding the world with it, are stimulus plans that cannot work in the long term. So, if stimulus plans funded by counterfeit or borrowed money are not working, we know that you should stop. We know our government should stop too, but we also know they won’t.
We are so sorry.
We Americans also know that the way government creates the conditions for robust private demand is (1) low taxation, (2) a rollback of ever-more-intrusive government regulation, (3) hard money instead of fiat money and (4) responsible and legal government spending. But our President said, “We must recognize that our fiscal health tomorrow will rest in no small measure on our ability to create jobs and growth today. This is my highest economic priority as president.”
We Americans know that private demand comes from innovation and manufacturing, not a blabbermouth President. Jobs are created when people make things. Jobs are the labor cost of making things, not ends in themselves. Unfortunately, because of (1) confiscatory taxation, (2) crushing regulation, (3) fiat money and (4) runaway government spending, manufacturing jobs have vanished from America, and we now are a service and consumer economy. But many of you have followed in the US Government’s footsteps, and nations like China are kicking your asses on manufacturing and the jobs that flow from it.
We are so sorry. President Obama certainly couldn’t have meant what he said.
Then our President said, “After years of taking on too much debt, Americans cannot…and will not…borrow and buy the world’s way to lasting prosperity. No nation should assume its path to prosperity is paved with exports to America. Indeed, I’ve made it clear that the United States will compete aggressively for the jobs and industries and markets of the future. ”
We are so sorry. That guy will say ANYTHING that rolls up on the teleprompter.
But we Americans know that Obama, the Federal Reserve and Congress are totally committed to continued borrowing around the world from you Jackass nations so stupid that you’ll buy our debt instruments…even when you doubt you’ll ever get repaid. And, as we said before, the only way the United States will compete is to cut debt, stop borrowing, cut regulations and use hard money. And that is not EVER going to come out of Washington DC.
We are so sorry. We’re going to ask that the teleprompter guy is fired.
Obama even pledged to end the “undue advantage” some nations have over others in worldwide trade. He was speaking indirectly about China’s monetary policy of linking the Yuan to the dollar, instead of allowing the Yuan to float against the dollar and other currencies. By linking to the dollar, China has maintained a competitive advantage against the USA. American diplomats have been pressuring China to de-peg from the dollar for years. Obama even announced a goal of doubling US exports over the next five years.
But our president knows that China owns more US debt than any other foreign nation. So, our presidential Chihuahua is barking at the Chinese Bull Mastiff. The big dog is not intimidated…and is certainly in no hurry to give away his advantage.
We are so sorry you have to watch this display of presidential hubris on the world stage. We are embarrassed because you are probably laughing your asses off at this clueless President, trying his best to talk tough in the midst of a group of 19 other national leaders whose nations have been screwed by the US government.
There is good news, however. We also know that your G-20 “Summit” was only meant as a publicity stunt, so morons around the world…like the American media…would give you credit for doing SOMETHING other than destroying the world economy. Perception is reality when there is a camera rolling.
We’ll see you at the next G-20 meeting in Seoul, South Korea. Wear your boots…the US BS is going to get deeper and deeper.
DumpDC. Six Letters That Can Change History.
© Copyright 2010, Russell D. Longcore. Permission to reprint in whole or in part is gladly granted, provided full credit is given.